Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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