Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
