we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
