sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
