Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Randomize
