just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
