you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
