I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
