I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
