Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
