Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
