there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
