his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Operation Purity has been aborted
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
