so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
