you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
