I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
