I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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