Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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