ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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