then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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