so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
