I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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