He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
