I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
