I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
