i think my mom watched the whole time
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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