I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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