Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
