STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
This couple is walking their pig around campus
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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