Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You may now shotgun with the bride
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
