This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just had sex on a roof
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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