He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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