READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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