is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
