just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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