Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
