He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
