Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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