Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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