in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
