So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
