I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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