Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
