he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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