i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
