I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
