Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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