so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
