she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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