OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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