I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
