Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She even gives head with a lisp.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Fuck me I smell like cheese
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
