I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
