I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
