you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
