He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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